personal update - Timor Mortis

As I post this, my wife's oldest brother (of four) lies near the end from cancer (the doctor says
24 hours).    [update: he passed 8 Mar 2011 at 4:10 am]    I probably won't be able to devote as much time in the next week as I would like to this blog or to researching my family trees.  Her second oldest brother died only last September, also from cancer.  Her youngest brother, who has been at least partially disabled since a logging accident when he was 17, has coronary stents.  Last year, a few weeks after receiving those, he was feeling so much better that he drove a four wheeler to his younger sister's home, and while returning to his home, the throttle stuck, flipping over and pinning him, resulting in numerous fractures and other injuries.  He is finally recovering after undergoing lung surgery in November because of clotting that was a result of those injuries.  We nearly lost him.  It has been a difficult time for my wife (the older of three sisters), who has also recently had cataract surgery, but she can now see better than she has in some time. 

An anonymous poem from the 15th century comes to mind:

               Timor Mortis

            In what estate so ever I be
            Timor mortis conturbat me.*

       As I went on a merry morning,
       I heard a bird both weep and sing.
 5    This was the tenor of her talking:
            "Timor mortis conturbat me."

       I asked that bird what she meant.
       "I am a musket* both fair and gent;*
       For dread of death I am all shent.:*
10         Timor mortis conturbat me.

       "When I shall die, I know no day;
       What country or place I cannot say;
       Wherefore this song sing I may:
           Timor mortis conturbat me.

15    "Jesu Christ, when he should die,
       To his Father he gan say,
       'Father,' he said, 'in Trinity,
           Timor mortis conturbat me.' 

       "All Christian people, behold and see:
20    This world is but a vanity
       And replete with necessity.
            Timor mortis conturbat me.

       "Wake I or sleep, eate or drink,
       When I on my last end do think,
25     For greate fear my soul do shrink:
            Timor mortis conturbat me.

       "God grant us grace him for to serve,
       And be our end when we sterve,*
       And from the feind he us preserve.
30          Timor mortis conturbat me.


Notes:   The title phrase comes from the office of the dead: "Peccantem me quotidie et non poenitentem timor mortis conturbat me.  Quia in inferno null est redemptio misere mei Deus et salva me."  (Since I have been sinning daily and repenting not, the fear of death confoundeth me.  Since in hell there is no redemption, have pity one me, God, and save me.)
line 8:  musket: male sparrowhawk   gent: gentle
line 9:  shent: ruined
line 28:  sterve: die


James 1:27 - 2:5  (King James Version)

27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.  1 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. 2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; 3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: 4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts? 5 Hearken , my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?